Wednesday, March 24, 2010

OHMYGOD. I THINK I DIED LAUGHING.

Ten Top Trivia Tips about SS501!

  1. Twenty-eight percent of Microsoft's employees are SS501.
  2. Without its lining of SS501, your stomach would digest itself!
  3. SS501 cannot swim!
  4. In their entire life, SS501 will produce only a twelfth of a teaspoon of honey.
  5. The blood of mammals is red, the blood of insects is yellow, and the blood of SS501 is blue.
  6. Only twelve people have ever set foot on SS501.
  7. SS501 can't drink - they absorbs water from their surroundings by osmosis.
  8. On average, women blink nearly twice as much as SS501.
  9. SS501 can use only about ten percent of their brain.
  10. There are now more than 4000 satellites orbiting SS501.

Ten Top Trivia Tips about EunHae!

  1. Duelling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are EunHae.
  2. All the moons of the Solar System are named after characters from Greek and Roman mythology, except the moons of Uranus, which are named after EunHae.
  3. Half a cup of EunHae contains only seventeen calories.
  4. Japan provides over thirty percent of the world's EunHae supply!
  5. If you lick EunHae ten times, you will consume one calorie.
  6. The air around EunHae is superheated to about five times the temperature of the sun.
  7. While sleeping, fifteen percent of men snore, and ten percent grind their EunHae.
  8. Grapes explode if you put them inside EunHae!
  9. EunHae can squeeze their entire body through a hole the size of their beak!
  10. Marie Antoinette never said 'let them eat cake' - this is a mistranslation of 'let them eat EunHae'!

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Super Junior!

  1. Super Junior are only six percent water!
  2. Owls cannot move their eyes, because their eyeballs are shaped like Super Junior.
  3. Contrary to popular belief, Super Junior are not successful at sobering up a drunk person, and in many cases they may actually increase the adverse effects of alcohol.
  4. People used to believe that dressing their male children as Super Junior would protect them from evil spirits.
  5. Super Junior are actually a fruit, not a vegetable.
  6. Super Junior never said 'Play it again, Sam'.
  7. Super Junior can not regurgitate!
  8. A cluster of bananas is called a hand and consists of 10 to 20 bananas, which are individually known as Super Junior.
  9. By tradition, a girl standing under Super Junior cannot refuse to be kissed by anyone who claims the privilege.
  10. All shrimp are born as Super Junior, but gradually mature into females.

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Mir!

  1. Marie Antoinette never said 'let them eat cake' - this is a mistranslation of 'let them eat Mir'.
  2. Mir is actually a vegetable, not a fruit.
  3. Originally, Mir could not fly.
  4. During World War II, Americans tried to train Mir to drop bombs.
  5. The international dialling code for Mir is 672.
  6. Olive oil was used for washing Mir in the ancient Mediterranean world.
  7. It's bad luck to put Mir on a bed.
  8. Mir has enough fat to produce 32 bars of soap.
  9. Three seagulls flying overhead are a warning that Mir is near!
  10. Mir will often glow under UV light!

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Jungmin!

  1. If you break Jungmin, you will get seven years of bad luck.
  2. The only Englishman to become Jungmin was Nicholas Breakspear, who was Jungmin from 1154 to 1159.
  3. There are more than two hundred different kinds of Jungmin.
  4. People used to believe that dressing their male children as Jungmin would protect them from evil spirits.
  5. Ostriches stick their heads in Jungmin not to hide but to look for water!
  6. The fingerprints of Jungmin are virtually indistinguishable from those of humans, so much so that they could be confused at a crime scene!
  7. Birds do not sleep in Jungmin, though they may rest in him from time to time!
  8. Plato believed that the souls of melancholy people would be reincarnated into Jungmin.
  9. A chimpanzee can learn to recognize itself in a mirror, but Jungmin can not.
  10. Lightning strikes Jungmin over seven times every hour.
FREAKING EPIC SHIT. STILL CAN'T STOP LAUGHING.


chaos: typically referring to a state lacking order or predictability; 8:17 PM




Monday, December 14, 2009

I really need to post more. But whatever.

Anyways, it (finally) stopped blizzarding the day before yesterday, and I went to school. Much to my chagrin. I was so embarrassed. And tired. And short. Total spaz crap.

Okayy so. I had to curl up on the floor to sleep the night before like some pathetic hobo because I couldn't stand the cold. I mean, at least the floor's heated, right? But NOOOOOO, some busybody APPARANTLY had other ideas, and decided that the bed should be warmer than the floor, which it SHOULD be, but my bed is screwed. And so I was picked up (told you I was a midget there) and put back on the bed, after which I almost froze to death. I couldn't move my fingers when I woke up in the morning, like seriously. I'm going to kill whoever did that to me, once I figure out who the hell it is. It hurts typing T-T

And then. Because the snow lessened, I had to go to school. The stupid thing: The roads were still unsafe for driving. All the snow and ice and all that, I suppose. Stupid road blocks. We had to FRIGGIN' WALK TO SCHOOL. Which I didn't mind so much, except it was SO EFFING COLD, and oh, did I mention we were staying at some ulu farm place? I walked like 2 kilometres plus, to town, where I promptly collapsed and hitchhiked. Be glad I wasn't axe-murdered by some axe-murderer.

We arrived late, no thanks to the ulu-ness of the farm. I was so pissed. German!Chris HAD to pull us directly into ASSEMBLY, when we could have happily hid out in the classroom anonymously. And then the principal saw us, and was like going: "Oh hello there. Won't you bring these foreign dears up the stage for a self-introduction, now wouldn't that be nice!"

And you could probably tell that I was like going: "OhnothatbloodyfucktardIfuckingHATEpublicspeakingandtheyprobablydontunderstandanywayHELPCHRISHELP"

Chris (both the retards) just laughed. And refused to take the mike. So I had to take it. Not talking about my "speech" anymore.

Once assembly was over we were supposed to follow German!Chris to his locker and then to first period for English (or something along the lines of that) and on the way to class, we were ambushed by this bunch of girls.

ME: Uhh. Hello? Do you speak non-accented English with which I am able to comprehend?
GIRL (one of the ones who ambushed us): Well, I wouldn't know. NI. HAO. You comprehend?
ME (in Chinese): Of course I comprehend. But barely.
GIRL: Okay whatever, I don't comprehend now. But anyway, you see us here -gestures- we're the muppets.

And then I was like openly freaking out and going HUHholyshitwhatisgoingon???!!

CHRIS (both, they're like joined at the hip or something): -laughslikemad-
ME: -nodsnods- Yeah. The muppets. Like Miss Piggy and Kermit. I TOTALLY comprehend.
GIRL: -snaps fingers- Great. We're the unofficial school mascots, and THE one condition for being a Muppet, is that you have to be short, Short, petite, small, a midget, tiny, whatever you call it.
ME: You're still taller than me.
CHRIS: -diesoflaughter-
GIRL: I know! -nodsexcitedly- You're probably the shortest person in the whole school!

And then she just drags me to some booth thing (their version of PA, I think) and proclaims that I'm now, officially, the newest Muppet. And then she drags me away. I am still offended, and I shall go off to steam in peace now. Blog again soon.

I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M SUPPOSED TO BE A MUPPET!!!!!!! LIKE WTF IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!!!


chaos: typically referring to a state lacking order or predictability; 1:50 PM




Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Okayy, this feels really really weird, cause I'm like typing this with German!Chris trying to read over my shoulder. I know I said I would blog every single day, but apparantly, the weather was not happy about that. Blizzards are NO JOKE once you've experienced them in person, let me tell you.
Anyway. Super long post to catch up.

DAY #1.
I almost died reaching the airport in Germany. It was so freaking COLD I couldn't stand it. So much for my mother's brilliant plan to conserve baggage weight. A word of advice for anyone looking to survive climate change in winter: Buy your coats and gloves and whatnot BEFORE you get on the plane.

Good thing was that almost everyone I needed to converse with knew English. I was totally going 'hallelujah!' in my head before Singaporean!Chris pointed out that the bloody directional signs were in GERMAN ("Like duh stupid, this is Germany, did you expect?"), and then I was like internally panicking and going 'WTFholyshitarewelost?!!'

And then, total anticlimax, we realised that German was actually kind of like French. In the sense that you can (sort of) deduce wth they were going on about if it was written out. It just looks like really bad preschool English, with weird symbols and appliques and dots on top. So we could actually understand written German, but fail miserably at the spoken language. Huh.

So. It was actually okayy. German!Chris and his family are really nice. However, I can't pronounce their last name. I think German!Chris is getting kind of pissed that I keep referring to him as German!Chris.

And then I nearly froze to death while running towards the car, which they left running outside the airport. (Thanks A LOT, Mom. -rolls eyes-) I felt so bloody pathetic, having to hide underneath German!Chris' coat. Thank goodness he wears oversized clothes. Am sniffing now because of this, which is like total boo.

It freaking snowed in while we were in the mall. Initially, I was like super happy, because snow automatically makes things much more fun and magical and all, right? And then it started bloody blizzarding, and the power went out. So basically, I was stuck in a mall in the middle of a bloody snowstorm, with no heater and light and whatever. Stupid much?

DAY #2.
Still snowing like shit. Can't go to school because of that. -dances around happily- But it's still freaking cold and the Internet's like not working. On the bad side, since the roads are closed, I can't go back to town. Pray that the snow clears enough for it to be safe for driving, or else nobody gets souvenirs. D:

I woke up like super super early today, no thanks to German!Chris and his sister. I think I drove them all crazy going around re-naming all the animals. HAHAHAHA. There are now 12 more variations of Jungmin in the world :333

Can you believe I milked cows? Totally freaky. The milk really just... comes out like that. You kind of squeeze with all your might and it spurts out like nobody's business. So funny (: I was supremely amused. Singaporean!Chris refuses to touch the cows, for some reason. I think he was grossed out by my milking. LMAO.

AHH I'M TIRED NOW AND SINGAPOREAN!CHRIS SAYS IT'S HIS TURN TO USE THE COMP. BOO. >/////<

Anyway, just try imagining me doing all sorts of farm life-ish stuff, and there you have it. I just hope you're imagination's overactive enough.

P.S: I really live mainly on sausages here O.o

P.P.S: It's approximately 3+, 4(?) where I am. I'm not very sure because my handphone doesn't work, and as you all know, I can't read the clock. (I'm just estimating by the very primitive way of the sun's position in the sky. But I might be wrong, because it's winter, and the sun supposedly sets earlier.)



chaos: typically referring to a state lacking order or predictability; 9:09 PM




Friday, November 27, 2009

This is for the sole purpose of appeasing the laptop, Internet Explorer and Javascript:

Dear inanimate friends,

You do know that I love you, right? Really, I do, from the bottom of my heart. I present to you, with great honour, my limitless and eternal love.

So please, stop telling me that "Windows Explorer has encountered a problem and needs to close" because every time you do that, my heart breaks into a million tiny pieces, and I hate the mere thought of even shutting you down. Your existence is essential for my daily source of amusement, and without you, life seems somewhat colourless and lacking.

Not to mention you, my beloved Javascript, what have I done to upset you? Please, stop throwing random fits and turning yourself off, will you? My dear friend Youtube needs you like fish need water. For the sake of my fandoms, please cooperate. We appreciate your hard work in bringing us hours and hours of entertaintment, even if our appreciation is seldom expressed.

I'm sure SS501 and SuJu would like to thank you to show their appreciation as well, but unfortunately, they're in Korea (or not. I can't remember) right now. Not to mention, they're not very good at English. You would probably understand Korean, being the smartass that you are, but English is still the best bet I presume, since I haven't installed any other language. Yet.

Whatever happens, I would like to apologise for not treating you better, and also, take this opportunity to express my sincere gratitude for your silent, noble, and wonderful contributution to my everyday enjoyment.

I promise to show more care and concern and not neglect you anymore, so please please PLEASE come back to me... My heart bleeds for your return. You probably can't tell, but I'm crying right now. Yes, feel my teardrops. I hope you're feeling guilty.

Thank you.
Yours Sincerely
Charmaine
a.k.a. Your bestest friend ever in the whole galaxy


chaos: typically referring to a state lacking order or predictability; 1:48 AM




Friday, October 30, 2009

Xinyi: Seriously, can't he shave?!

Hello, what did you expect? He doesn't wash his hair. And he kind of looks like some homeless person here.

SuJu randomity:

1. I have recently watched SuJu's Intimate Note, and I laughed like shit.

2. This (namely, the above) has made me realise that Kyuhyun and Sungmin are friggin' cute.

3. I also agree that Kangin is kind of... plump. (If you know what I mean)

4. Sungmin + Kangin's awkwardness = LMAO TTM! The coke! The american movie scene! The "anonymous" notes!

5. Kyuhyun + Sungmin = KyuMin. Just like Jungmin + Kyujong = KyuMin. HAHAHA.

6. Heechul is super pretty as a girl, but not so much as a guy.

7. Eunhyuk = I really think he has gender issues. How do I do this with boobs? ROFLMAOs.

8. Kyuhyun is weird in stock photos. Like Kyujong. Boo.

SS501 randomity:

1. REBIRTH!!! AHHH~ I FINALLY GOT MY CD!

2. Love like this = much love^mol

3. Jungmin actually looks decent with eyeliner, albeit extremely gay and pretty.

4. The heart shape. LOLOLOLOLOL.

5. The inkigayo tattoo shirts = OHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~

That's it with the fangirling, I guess. Now help me, cause I really need it.
The million-dollar question: WHAT DO I GET CHRIS FOR HIS BIRTHDAY?

Possible answers by random people to the above question:

My father: A car.

This is- not possible because (a) I'm not that rich, and (b) he can't drive. Oh, and not to mention (c) HE ALREADY HAS LIKE 10 CARS IN HIS GARAGE, the stupid rich kid.

My mother: Cook somethig for him.

This is- not possible because (a) I can't even cook instant noodles, (b) it's such a housewifey thing to do, and (c) the idea just plain gives me goosebumps. What's more (d) I'm pretty sure I'll end up destroying his kitchen.

My sister: A book.

This is- just plain nerdy. What book do I get him, anyway? The Transformer's movie novel?!

Wenwei: An ipod.

This is- just stupid. He already has like 1 iTouch and 2 nanos.

Wenwei again: A laptop.

This is- even stupider. See above on both our financial statuses.

Christine: Clothes.

This is- ...weird. (a) How am I supposed to know his size, anyway? (b) It's too much of a goosebump-inducing thing to do, and (c) I can't afford to buy Armani.

My sister again: Sweets.

This is- stupid because (a) he's turning seventeen, for god's sake, not seven and (b) I don't really think he eats sweets.

Ahh. I'm so dead. He bought me a freaking cotton candy machine for my birthday. HELP. That's all I can say.



chaos: typically referring to a state lacking order or predictability; 2:56 PM




Tuesday, October 20, 2009

This is old news, actually:

I CUT MY HAIR

And probably not very interesting too, since I cut my hair too often for it to really leave an impact.

But anyways, I did cut it. Yesterday, in fact. Darling Park was the first to see my new (really weird) hair, followed by Hanwen, simply because I ran into her at j8.

I think it looks supremely weird. Everyone in my family calls me "ye hai zi" now, because apparantly I look like

(a) Mother: A hooligan. Like those Initial D people. (I have no idea either)
(b) Father: A ragamuffin
(c) Father: A street urchin (which is basically the same as the ragamuffin mentioned above)
(d) Wenwei: "You remind me of Oliver Twist"

WTF?!

Ahh whatever. I'll probably look the same once it grows out.













Actually, I've just realised. This hair kind of looks (is) very mushroomy.

Ugh. It's like the Curse of the Everlasting Mushroom, or something. Whatever hair I cut, it (almost) ALWAYS turns out to be either the standard mushroom, or another variation of it.

Ohh well. Whatever. I have long since given up on my hair. At least now I can afford to not comb it like everyday.

... It has bits that get in my eye.
Crap. I shall go cut it again.

(I'll probably end up botak at this rate. Ahh whatevs.)

((When it grows long--IF I ever let it grow long--my hair will look shaggy. Huh, how weird.))

OH GOSH. MOTH ALERT!!!
Here I go, just quietly freaking out












chaos: typically referring to a state lacking order or predictability; 1:49 AM




Thursday, October 15, 2009


































































Here you go, Hanwennie. You so owe me (:












chaos: typically referring to a state lacking order or predictability; 7:49 PM






Yes, you do.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MY DARLING PONPON! <3^mol
Even though the cake is virtual.



I'm so sorry I pangsey-ed you on your birthday. And I'm so sorry my phone is screwed.


Ahhh, I'm making myself feel guilty.



Just, you know, happy birthday and all, and even though I'm pretty sure I screwed my art, I don't care.

YOU RAWK MY SOCKS OFF, DON'T EVER CHANGE.

Also, welcome to the 15s :D






chaos: typically referring to a state lacking order or predictability; 7:39 PM